Alas the great day has finally arrived, rejoice my dear grandstanders for it is the opening day of the grandest time of year. May the Gods smile upon us and sanctify this first Saturday in May so that it be a magnificent season of grandstanding. May this day of commemoration and renewal bring forth hope and blessings for another summer full of devotional distractions to protect us from the impending doom of rising waters and of another hacked into nation state’s election. May we saunter trancelike and drunkenly forward toward the light of another grandiose summer of spectacle far away from the darkness of blundered taped red presidential ties. Let this grand season of spectacle cast upon us a temporal lucidity so that we may have a respite from the vulgar fake news paranoia of the squawk box of atomic cataclysm. May this be a season of blind pony derby winners, no-hitters, triple crowns, 8 round knockouts, fussing ballers with 500 dollar kicks, a cup for the green team, a cup for the Italian team, one final tiki-taka strut, an NBA ring for the gangly former Oklahoma scorer, bicycle races, car races, foot races, more cheaters, more gossip, more losses, more wins, more controversy, more theatre, more spectacle, more, more, more. In Maradona’s name we beg you, amen now pass the kykeon!